Idk what’s wrong with me or what should I do. I’m always there and available whenever they need me. Don’t get me wrong. But I’m getting tired of understanding everyone. I was never understood and appreciated. I always have to explain my side. I’m always the one saying sorry. For once, I just want to feel that they really care for me. They always make me feel unimportant. I know I don’t matter that much but it doesn’t mean that I’ll never get tired of pushing myself to fit in. All I want is for you to understand. Is that too much to ask for?
— i am sorry for the man i was // 23:20
You can say I’m okay but you always remind me that I am not enough. You will always ask for more. You will never be satisfied. You can’t see all the good things in me. You will always ask me if I can do better. It’s just hard that I never felt worthy. It’s like I should always try harder to prove myself. Because you only see the fault with me and never appreciated the good things.
I’m a walking disappointment. I’m a collection of high hopes and wrong expectations. I deeply believed that we only have one chance to prove ourselves. And I got my one wasted. I should’ve taken it seriously. I’m tired of not meeting my expectations. No one will ever be proud of me. I’m worthless like the ueue in queue and the yo in you.
— Five Word Story by E.G. (via wnq-writers)
I’ve loved you from a distance. You’re the person I always mention in my journal. You’re the reason why I’m still believing in the whole of idea of love. You’ve never seen me sad and it’s all because of your smile that keeps me alive. Everything about you is perfect. You’re heaven sent. And no one can ever make me feel this way. You’re like a beautiful dream I never want to wake up. But you’re also a shooting star I’ll never reach. Because you will never love me the way I love you. You were a book to me while I wasn’t even a chapter to you. You were like the sky and I was the sea. We’re so close yet so far away. I tried a thousand times to tell you how I really feel. But I never got the urge to utter my unsaid feelings. And now that we’re taking different paths, I just want you to know that you’ll always be the one I’ll never get tired staring at. I know it was so fool of me. I was a coward. B ut I’m afraid if I tell you, everything will be different. This is all a wrong timing. If we’re really good together I know fate will bring us back together. But for now, I’ll let my feelings fade. I won’t ever let you go. You will always occupy a special place in my heart. A tower might fall, a painting might fade but my love will never change. You’re home. I might meet new friends, try new things, go somewhere I’ve never been to but I will always come back to you.
But we’re all going to be fine. I’m still hoping that maybe one day all this pain will fade. And I hope the same thing for you.
i am just so proud of myself that i am very consistent. if there’s one thing i really excel at- it’s being consistent. i’ve been miserable for a year or so. but i’m tired of staying up at night thinking of the things that made me hopeless. i’m afraid to trust people again. i’m scared to step out of my comfort zone again. i’m tired of blaming myself. how i wish they know how hard this is for me. how i wish they know how to care. how i wish they try to ask me if i’m okay. but those are just wishes that will never ever come true. sometimes i’m wondering if i will be able to tell how i really feel maybe things will get better. i always tell myself that i can do this all alone but i was wrong.
I got lost in the idea of stressing myself over things that shouldn’t be this way. I was drowning in the things that never happened the way I wanted it to be. I didn’t know why I couldn’t accept that things were meant to be this way.